The FP (2012)

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The human language cannot adequately describe The FP.  If you have seen any previews for this movie, then you have an idea of how ridiculous The FP is; if you haven’t, you should go see an official trailer right now.  I’m glad to know that my Dance Dance Revolution skills are directly transferable to “Beat Beat Revelation” in the future.  And, judging by their skills, I could probably rule some small communities and lead a fair gang.

The FP is kind of like Rocky, Grandma’s Boy, Mad Max, and The Warriors all rolled into one. So how do they write a plot centered around a DDR game?  Let me tell you, they “beat off” against each other for “street cred” and this battle  is also for control of the local liquor store.  As you quickly find out, Frazier Park is going downhill because the 245 from the South has a monopoly on the liquor.  Since there’s no liquor, there’s no bums, and since there’s no bums, there’s no one to feed the ducks.  And what kind of town doesn’t have ducks?

If you think that’s confusing, just wait until you see all the other random things that just happen throughout this movie.  I’m sure it will be a cult classic, and it will undoubtedly make for a classic drinking game in some circles.  I was very conflicted on what to rate this movie because for some aspects I wanted to give it as high as 8 stars, but other parts were so stupid that it made 2 stars seem appropriate.  I ended up taking the average.  It’s not what most people would call a good movie, but I’m looking forward to the soundtrack and Blu-ray/DVD release.  I just wished they had played more difficult songs in the movie.  They had the greatest opportunity ever to show off the elite skills required for some Heavy songs.

The Ides of March (2011)

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The Bucket List (2007)

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The Artist (2011)

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Rio (2011)

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Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)

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Probably even without a review, you could guess exactly how good this movie will be.  Action-packed and fun to watch when your in the mood for something mindless and ridiculous.  Bringing back both of the original characters this time while adding UFC brawler Andrei Arlovski, this is 90 minutes of army people pounding on each other and trying to prove their are the manliest.

One shouldn’t be surprised to discover that the storyline behind this film is pretty shallow, but anyone who enjoyed the original Universal Soldier movie will definitely have fun watching this one.  It’s like watching the original except with a slightly different story, and both Jean Claude Van Damme and  Dolph Lundgren now look ancient.  They seemed to gasp and run out of breath just throwing a single punch.  Nevertheless, Russian terrorists, Chernobyl, hostages, interesting twist, and three testosterone-filled action stars are still a recipe for enjoyment.

At times, when I saw them fight and put each other through the walls, it reminded me of when Vin Diesel fought Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in Fast Five earlier this summer.  However, it is clear that Dolph and JCVD are far past their prime, and its obvious that the scriptwriters  were just sticking to the old proven action formula without introducing anything too new or too emotional.  The movie is exactly what you would expect it to be, nothing more and nothing less.

Do you of contemplate the complexities of life?

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

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The original Wall Street was a great movie, and I’m glad they bring Gordon Gekko back in this sequel.  In all likelihood, I probably only enjoyed this new rendition because I love Gekko’s character so much from the original film.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise since Michael Douglas did win an award for his role in the original motion picture.

After getting out of jail, it appears as though Gekko has been totally reformed.  Is greed good?  Meanwhile, we journey into the life of his daughter and her boyfriend Jake, who is also a hot-shot wall street trader, who throughout the film keeps losing his job all his money.  With the financial crisis of 2008 as the backdrop, we watch Jake fall over and over.  Even though the story is full of dynamic twists and turns following the life of the young broker, he can only get dirt kicked in his face so many times before it gets old.  And of course, Gekko makes his way back to the top.

Although, the movie revolves around Shia LaBeouf’s character, he brings little to the movie.  It is obvious he is just another sharp, motivated kid who doesn’t really know anything yet.  He has yet to fully understand how the world around him works, and he doesn’t catch on too quick.  The writer’s were nice enough to give him and the movie a relatively happy ending even though I don’t think it really fit.  They probably thought the happy ending would appease a broader audience, but I think they should have been more realistic and just left him after his riches to rags journey which saw Gekko on top of the financial world again.  Happy endings are fun dreams, but realism appeals to and entertains me much more.